Ah, I don’t know how to begin.

I’m sorry, guys. I last started this blog on November 19, but I never got to finish it. Well, I’m here to say that … it still won’t be finished for a while. Haha, but I wanted you guys to know that it is coming. The video has been up ever since and so, for this blog, please check out the video first! I will post my response to the video another time as part two of “Rubber Band”.

http://kyoungyu.xanga.com/716817990/rubber-band/

I’m so sorry guys! Hahaha, please watch the video on my Xanga – link given above – and please post comments on what you think of it or anything you might want to say. Again, I will post my response and why this particular video had such an impact on me recently (or a couple weeks ago when I started this blog) next time under Part Two of Rubber Band! Hahaha.

Well, I feel really bad for not updating my WordPress often. Here’s an extra video that I found! It’s really, really cool! Check it out. You’ll seriously be amazed by it. I certainly was!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4s2H9cH7Sw

-Edit-

I guess the YouTube link doesn’t work! Hahahaha, oh gosh, I guess I waited too long to share it with you guys. Don’t worry, I’ll have something worth it the next blog to make up for this.

Pitiful.

Ah, I have to admit, Sunday was a very relaxing day. Although I ended up ditching the Senior Onnuri class - which I feel terribly sorry for - I ended up spending the whole day with PM and Jonny. Haha, it was an interesting day.

We first went to go eat some sushi! We met some people that we knew there, shared some interesting stories … and yeap. Actually the only reason this stuck out so much was because of the things PM said. Ah, I don’t want to go deep into it, but man, he has some weird dreams.

After sushi, we went to go watch Michael Jackon’s This Is It! Honestly, I wasn’t that much of a Michael Jackson fan, but after this movie, it’s like I want to listen to Michael Jackson even more! It was just so cool watching him practice for his concerts … that sadly never happened. It would’ve been such a great concert. Well, what caught me here was that a lot of the people in the theater were old! I mean, I guess it’s not that amazing, but when I saw that, it made me question random thoughts. I saw this fragile old grandma who was sitting on the theater chair, and by the end of the movie, it was as though she was about to cry. Michael Jackson surely left much influence, but then again … I couldn’t really understand as much as I wanted to. I don’t know, there was something about the movie that made me think. Just the way how everyone that was interviewed that was to perform with Michael Jackson … they said it was their dream … the excitement they’ve been waiting for in their lives … the pinnacle of their life. I really wanted to write something about this movie that I got out of … but for some reason, I can’t think of it. It’s like the more I try, the more confusing it gets for me. Ah, I don’t know. I’m going to just leave it at that. Somehow Jesus was supposed to come in. Haha. Sorry for such a failed blog attempt.

http://gizmodo.com/5397425/the-michael-jackson-movie-is-kinda-good

Well, anyways, we went home after the movie, and PM got me four gachapon Gundams from Canada! Hehe. I don’t know why, but I like to decorate the top shelf of my desk with toys. I guess it’s still that “kid” part of me … actually, I don’t think any of the “kid” part of me matured or went away. Well, here are some pictures!! Although this may make me look like a nerd or a geek … I’m really not. XD

Haha, maybe for some select anime I am, but I’ve never really seen an actual Gundam episode. I just like how they look like cool fighting robots.

The Gundam army … hmm, I feel like “tagging” each Gundam with a person.

Thanks again, PM!

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I started this post on September 29th, but I never got to finish it, until today! Haha. Well, before you continue reading, please head over to my Xanga and watch the following clip! Yay, short video clip!

http://kyoungyu.xanga.com/713366985/guidance/

When I first saw this video a couple years ago, it really didn’t impact me. I started to realize the importance of guidance and faith as my Senior year started. This video has so much meaning to me right now because of the things that I am going through. And I’m sure this video made many of you feel … something. I can’t explain that feeling. Hopefully, you guys know what I am talking about.

Well, hopefully you are Christian, and you have probably asked God to lead your life. To lead your path and that you would follow Him in whatever plans He had in store for you. Unfortunately, many of us don’t really know a certain path God wants us to take. It’s kind of blindly following Him, trusting Him that He will lead you. Like the kid in the video, many of us start to wonder if we are really going the right way, if God is actually leading us. It’s hard to have faith and trust in God when we can’t even see the amount of work He is putting to make our lives worth living for. No matter what, if God said he would guide you, then He will guide you. But at the same time, it’s hard because we must also give our part of the share. We must also “row the boat” and keep our relationship with God as healthy as possible. The Father is always there, always leading the way … it all depends on whether or not you participate with a good heart and have faith in Him.

Now, saying all that, I feel guilty. I consider myself lucky because God kind of gave me a glimpse of my path. All I know is that He wants me to become a doctor. Ever since this path was revealed upon me, I tried my best, trying to fulfill God’s plan. I worked around my high school schedule so that it would benefit in the field of medicine. And yet … recently, it felt as though I wasn’t rowing my part of the boat. Junior year really took it’s toll. I have to say … Junior year was when I literally took the oars and broke them apart, giving up on this pathway. I expected God to row the boat all by Himself. I was like that kid in the video, where he questioned if God really was in control of the boat, if I really was going the right way. Near the end of the video, Jesus asks if the kid wants to trade places. During my Junior year, it’s like I mindlessly accepted that offer, without really knowing what I was getting myself into. Trading places with Jesus on the boat means that obviously, you’re taking control of your life now. God isn’t leading you anymore once you trade places. You are leading yourself, and that leads to great downfall. I experienced it last year when I traded places and started rowing in my own direction.

Well, as Senior year came and I started picking out my colleges to apply to, I realized that faith in God is so much more important than it seems. Even the colleges that I am applying for … God has full control over them. I was looking through my computer and I happened to open this video. It made me realize that God is always willing to lead me, to guide me. Not only do I need Him to be the one guiding my path, but I also need to row the boat, to give my share of the work. As I started stressing about college and my future, I became really depressed. I realized the fact that I literally doomed my future of becoming a doctor. But, luckily, our God is a loving God, a caring God. As I started to sign up for the SAT and ACT testing, I became really worried because I didn’t have time to prepare as much like the other students, but somewhere deep inside, God told me not to worry. It was kind of like an epiphany. No matter what scores I get, what colleges I apply to, God is going to provide. If I just let him take control of the boat and follow him with my heart, I will achieve my dream, to fulfill God’s plan … to become a doctor. It’s still hard to have faith and trust in Him as much as I want to because of the doubts that I have. Even though God gave me a glimpse of the path I am heading towards, it’s so difficult. Well, getting over the hardships is part of the challenge … ah. It’s time to pick up my oars and start rowing my boat again with God leading the way.

Oh, and I’m supposed to be moving soon. Haha, as some of you noticed, my house is becoming emptier as my mother keeps giving stuff away. Hopefully, moving into a smaller home will help me to somehow get closer with my family. I’m also wishing that it won’t be as comfortable so I can keep my priorities straight and focus on the task at hand. God is brewing something up! I just can’t wait for what is about to happen.

God’s plans are so mysterious. In the end, there is happiness. Let us bask in the radiance of God’s great glory. It will surely bring upon happiness.

Oh, Happiness by David Crowder Band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBczEYmON5s&feature=player_profilepage/

Hello! I personally would like a sloppy wet kiss because Elliot once gave me one-fourth of an unforeseen kiss and it was brutal. Haha, he got the corner of my lips. I think I would’ve been scarred if Elliot actually took my first full kiss. Gah, it gives me the shivers. Elliot’s first kiss was taken by PJ, or so I’ve heard. No wonder he goes after other boys. Haha, but on to what I was really talking about … a sloppy wet kiss or an unforeseen kiss?

It’s been about three or so hours since I started a blog, but I don’t think I will get to finish it today. Haha. Well, I was online, and I happened to come across John Mark McMillan’s blog! I’ve always wondered what his thoughts were on the lyrics that were changed in “How He Loves” and I happened to find his blog about it! Yay! Haha. Well, yeap. The other blog that I started on for three hours only got to about … three sentences. Hahaha. Since that blog won’t be up, I will leave you guys with this, the thoughts of John Mark McMillan on David Crowder’s cover of “How He Loves”! I blogged about this song about three or four posts down.

http://johnmarkmcmillan.blogspot.com/2009/09/how-he-loves-david-crowder-and-sloppy.html

I’ll finish my other blog sometime soon … well, for now, here’s a picture! A sneak-peak of my family photo-shoot in Korea. I haven’t forgotten about the special picture or video for the exclusive WordPress readers just yet!

Honestly, I didn’t really like this “theme”. It was and still seems really stupid. Haha, oh well. We went there without any particular theme in mind, so I guess that’s what we get for not being as prepared.

Well, I haven’t blogged for a long time and it feels quite weird. I decided to write one after Jonny updated his. Haha, I won’t have much to say.

I wanted to start off with saying that tomorrow is SYATP, See You At The Pole. Honestly, I forgot about it until Scott Sol updated his status, thus reminding me. For some reason, I feel like not participating at all. It feels as though I’m being attacked even stronger this year and the most I want to do is just stand around the circle or just take pictures. Scott happened to message me on MSN asking me if I was going to bring my guitar. The thought I was dreading. I replied saying that I probably should, in case someone else doesn’t. I was thinking Nathan could do it, but Scott told me that Nathan wasn’t going to lead praise. That made me depressed. Then, I wondered, “Why am I so scared to participate in SYATP this year?!” I seriously do not know. I make up excuses in my mind telling myself that I might have to carry the guitar case all day and that someone else will probably step up and lead. Not just lead praise, but lead the whole SYATP. At a rendezvous like this, I think it’s always good to have someone direct the crowd and kind of start things going. Last year, a girl lead it. I believe her name was Haley. I think. Well, it’s time to suck it up and take a stand. I know full well that I should do my best to get this years SYATP going and it’s also my Senior year! It’s just that … something heavy feels like it’s holding me back. I need to go do my quiet time and meet up with God …

Well, this blog was originally supposed to be about my dreams … my goal. But, I’m going to leave it at that so that I have more to talk about for the next blog! I do have something, though. This story is kind of old, but here:

http://gizmodo.com/5297187/pixar-grants-girls-last-wish-to-see-up

These stories always make me on the verge or tearing up. I want to ask you guys one thing, though. What about Jesus? As you are lying there on your bed about to die, will you be thinking of saving one more for Jesus, or will you be thinking of the things you still want to cling on to on Earth? Even if you aren’t about to die, before you sleep … do you go to sleep thinking of how to save another person the next day, or what you want to do for your own pleasure?

Gah, help me.

1 Corinthians 6:12
I still have yet to find the true meaning behind what God wants to tell me. It is surely a strong passage.

Haha. No, I’m not gay. However, there is this fob girl that I work with that thinks I’m gay now. Maybe she’s still deciding if I was lying or not … but it seemed like she was convinced that I was gay. Hahahaha. Here is the outline of the story.

Saturday, July 11th, I was working at Lynnwood selling some fruits. Now, I hate working at Lynnwood. Usually I work at Woodinville where it’s more peaceful. Anyways, I was texting Jonny and going on Facebook. I told Jonny I was working at Lynnwood and he left me a comment saying that he was planning to visit me because he thought I was at Woodinville, but now he can’t. As I was exchanging texts and comments, the fob girl next to me, whom I was working with, started a conversation.

(The whole conversation was in Korean.)
The things that I said are in italics.

“Who are you texting?”
“Oh, my friend.”
“Is it your girlfriend?” *snickering*
“Uhh … no. I actually don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Oh, really?! Why not?”
“Because I’m gay.”
“WHAT?!”
“I like men. Weird, huh?”

HAHA!! To make it even better, Inwoo happened to pass by a couple minutes later honking his horn at me.

“Oh, who’s that?”
“That’s my boyfriend!”

Hahahahaha. I was trying so hard to keep in my laughter while waving to Inwoo, Rebekah, and Grace. I had to put one arm across my face and cover my mouth to stop laughing. Haha. It was really awkward working with her after that. The funny thing is, this different girl I worked with in Woodinville asked me like the exact questions when I was texting some people, but it didn’t go quite as smoothly as this one. Hahaha.

Well, check this out! It’s a $250,000 watch. I didn’t know a watch could cost that much. The gravity defying $250,000 Louis Vuitton Tambour Mysterieuse Calibre LV115. Looks so nice.
http://gizmodo.com/5311138/louis-vutton-watch-has-mysterieuse-floating-hands

Oh, and check out this video of John Mark McMillan before he sings “How He Loves”. It explains the whole thing about his friend and how he died. It’s really sad and remarkable. God surely has something in store for the youth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Chx6s3qXKt4

Before I start … I’d like to say that … I’m so lost right now. I’m like dizzy and amazed. I woke up about ten minutes ago … which would be 2:40 AM. I had a car wash today/yesterday (whichever one you prefer) … uhh … July 10th and I slept one hour the night of July 9th and the morning of July 10th. I’m so out of this world right now. I’m sorry if it’s hard to understand what I’m typing right now. I got home at about 7:00 PM after the car wash … after eating some Thai food and Minty Manure … and I fell asleep right away. I fell asleep in my living room … and somehow I ended up in my room. This feels so weird. It feels like the world just passed by 5-7 days without me and now that I wake up and try to grasp what happened, along with the time, I feel really weird. I don’t know if this is what you call being “high” … but I feel “high”. Haha. I’m so out of it. Well, I woke up and I was super confused on what was going on. I won’t rant on any longer about this amazingly weird feeling, but I remember I promised B. Fu that I would post this. Well, I’d hate to break that and although I’m a little bit weezy … here it is!

Haha. I just took an unexpected break to watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7cwZzFcIpU&feature=player_embedded

Back to the post!

About one year ago, I went to California with my taekwondo. Brian Fu and Master June also went, and although there were others that went, they won’t be mentioned in this post. Well, one day, we decided to go to the beach. At first, we started out alright. We all went out and had fun getting hit by the waves. Eventually, Master June decided to play with us and he also went in the water. Soon enough, he somehow encouraged us to go out deeper into the water. About neck high for me. Now, many of you know that I’m not much of a swimmer. I’m what you would call an average swimmer. I can swim, but I’m not that skilled. I’ve never really had swim lessons and I kind of taught myself how to swim with the help of some others for good form.

Well, anyways, as B. Fu and I went in deeper toward Master June, I could tell something bad was going to happen. In a split second, I suddenly looked out toward the ocean and I saw B. Fu in the far left struggling to breath. It’s funny how fast your brain can think. Only thing I thought of was, “Uh, oh. This is bad.” I warned most of the people that was with us that Brian was drowning, and eventually they all caught on and Master June went to go save him. Now remember, as this was happening, I saw Brian to my left. In another split second, I was suddenly carried in by the rip current and B. Fu was now to the far left of me but from the other side. Haha. Confusing? So at first, I was looking toward the ocean and B. Fu was to the left. Later, I was looking toward the ocean shore and B. Fu was to the left. Surprising how fast the rip current carried me out to the ocean. Well, as I watched Master June and B. Fu trying to reach dry land, I suddenly noticed I couldn’t feel the bottom of the ocean with my foot anymore. “Oh, crap.” Well, at first, I treaded the water. Then a huge wave crashed on top of my head, making me swallow a ton of salt water. As I felt being sucked in again by another rip current, I tried swimming forward. I didn’t know that you weren’t supposed to swim forward when stuck in a rip current. As many of you know … that didn’t help at all and it is impossible to escape from a rip current by trying to swim forward.

“Oh, man. What am I going to do? I can’t swim away from it. Hmm.” Just then, another wave hit me and I swallowed more salt water. “This is so gay. I wonder if I’ll be able to get out. Oh, look I can see Master June and Brian!” Then I yelled out, “Master June! I’m kind of stuck!” Haha. Then another rip current pulled me in even more and then another wave hit me, causing me to swallow more salt water. By this time, I was getting exhausted and frustrated. Eventually, I was drowning. I was able to keep my head above the water, but the wave kept crashing on top of it. “I wonder if I’m really going to drown. I guess if I get carried out all the way to the ocean, I can float on my back and just wait. Should I try swimming even harder? I wonder if that will help me.”

Oddly, to tell you the truth, I had a feeling that I wouldn’t die drowning. I was in a dangerous state, about to drown because of the rip currents and yet, I had this feeling that I wouldn’t die. Maybe God put in that thought for me. It really helped me from panicking even more. I mean I was struggling to breath because the waves kept crashing on top of my head and causing me to swallow salt water every single time. Now, this day that we went to the beach, the waves were rather quite strong. Not only were they really strong, they were frequent. The lifeguards had a hard time getting everyone on the beach into one section.

I was to the point where I couldn’t keep myself afloat any longer and just as I was going to try swimming away from it once more, someone threw me their board. It was this overly buff African American and boy was he ripped! Haha. That was honestly the first thing that came to my mind. Well, as I grabbed the board, I was able to keep myself afloat with it, and well … I kind of threw up on his board. Hahaha. I drank so much salt water, that it eventually caused me to throw up. Well, with the board, I was able to swim out toward the shore and the overly buff African American helped me along.

As I was on the sand again, I saw B. Fu and Master June and started to walk toward them. That was an experience that was quite interesting. I didn’t have any sunblock on that day … and so my whole upper body turned bright red. Haha.

Well, as we were in California, we met up with the people that went to PDYM that year. It was the first time I ever met Onnuri people. We met in the Disney store and well, there is a picture below for all you WordPress readers! Haha. I was always embarrased of this picture … but for some reason, I really like it now. Oh, Brian Fu also took a picture with the Minnie ears and he did his “So Hot” pose. HAHA. It’s so funny. Ask him to show you the picture!

Haha, it’s 4:12 AM. That took like an hour and a half to write! Haha, I’m talking on MSN at this ungodly hour and watching YouTube videos. Who’s online at 4:19 AM in the morning? Well, let’s see … out of 146 people in my list, 11 people are on, three of which are from Onnuri. They are Elise Cho, Paul Mun, and Jonathan Suhr! Haha. All three which I am talking to. I’m still amazed at what’s going on. Ah, this feeling is so unreal. Okay, I need to get ready for work in about four hours. Keep me company, guys! Thanks to all those that texted me and kept me entertained! Haha, Jonny actually came to where I was once and stayed for forty minutes or so. Sorry this post was so long!

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